Nosotros get questions often near what to say to someone whose father died, what to say to someone whose mother died, along with questions of what to say to anyone who is grieving! It is tempting to ask the question "how tin can I comfort someone grieving" or "how tin I panel a friend whose parent died". But before nosotros get whatsoever further, we want to cease y'all right at that place. Information technology is important to remember that nothing you say or practice will be able to "fix" this situation, so "console" or "comfort" is the wrong way to think of it. People grieving don't want you to fix their situation or to take away their pain. What most people grieving want is for people to:

  • acknowledge their pain
  • be present and not scared of their pain
  • to remember their loved i
  • show upwardly not just in the short term, but besides in the long term
Okay, got it. But what do I actually SAY.

You might have come up here for an exact list of things to do or what to say to someone whose female parent died or someone whose father died. Don't worry, nosotros're going to give yous some specific ideas and tips. But we also desire to remind yous that your own vocalization and actuality are important. Also, you know your grieving friend or family member and nosotros don't! So keeping in mind that your chore is non to take away their pain and looking at those four bullet points higher up, accept a minute to consider what comes to your heed right now, earlier y'all read our suggestions. Those words volition be genuine and it is important to consider them first. Ok, have some ideas? Great! Read on for our tips.

  • check out this commodity if yous're specifically looking for what to write in a sympathy carte
  • bank check out this commodity if you're looking for sympathy gift ideas other than flowers
Helpful Things to Say to Someone Whose Parent Died
  • I wish I had the right words, only I don't. Delight just know I am here for you no thing what – next week or next yr.
  • Would you like visitor right at present? I can come to stay with you or you can come to stay here.
  • I am always here if you desire to talk. I'm as well here if you don't want to talk and simply need some company or a lark!
  • I'll keep checking in each week to run into how you're doing and what you lot need. If you're not up for responding, please don't ever feel obligated to reply. And if y'all start to become annoyed past that, only tell me to back off! (don't offer this if you aren't going to do it! Once you've offered, set a reminder in your phone).
  • I wish I had gotten to know your dad (or mom). I would love to learn more near them former, if yous're up for it.
  • Y'all're mom was then great. I'll ever remember ____________________ (share a retentiveness or something about their parent that you lot loved).
  • I know grief is so different for everyone and correct now you might non even know what you need, just if in that location is anything I can practise please tell me – anytime, now or months from now!
  • I wish I could take away your pain, simply I know that's not an choice! So is at that place anything helpful or applied I can do? I would dear to ______________ . (insert whatsoever you tin can remember of here – bring you some food? / I'm going to the grocery store – I'll choice upward whatever you need / Can I come by and aid you with anything around the house – cleaning, mowing the lawn, any!
  • Desire more ideas of what to say to someone whose mother died or to someone whose male parent died? Check out this list crowdsourced by grievers of the 64 best things to say to someone grieving
Helpful Things to Do for Someone Whose Mother Died or Whose Father Died
  • Fix reminders on your phone to bank check in before Mother'southward Mean solar day and Begetter'southward Twenty-four hour period
  • Put their parent's birthday and deathiversary on your calendar, and then you can bank check in then.
  • Remember that holidays and special days will be tough! Check-in with them to see if they accept someone to spend holidays and birthdays with, particularly if they commonly would have been with their parents.
  • Bring them food – IF THEY Desire It (not everyone wants your casserole, sorry not sorry).
  • Send them a cocky-care sympathy box similar these wonderful ones by Here For You (*bonus: Hither For You gives a contribution to WYG's costless grief support every time someone uses this link).
  • If you piece of work together, bank check in with how their work is going and offer to accept a few things off their plate if y'all can.
  • Also if you piece of work together, if your employer allows yous to donate your holiday hours to some other employee use for bereavement go out, requite them hours or a day.
  • Go on inviting them to things, but e'er include the reminder that you lot understand if they aren't up for it.
  • Share memories of their parent, non just immediately afterwards the decease, but also long-term. Information technology is a great condolement for people to know that their loved ones made an impression and are remembered!
  • Whatsoever fourth dimension they post things about their parent or about grief on social media, engage with it! This is often a style of seeking connection and keeping a loved one's memory alive. When people don't appoint with those posts, your grieving friend may start to feel similar their friends are uncomfortable with their grief and remembrance.
Unhelpful Things to Do or Say Someone Whose Parent Died
  • Don't ghost them. This might sound obvious, simply it happens. Sometimes people come here asking what they should say to someone whose father died or whose mother died, they say information technology, and so think they should give someone "space". Unfortunately, that often leaves them feeling abandoned. Don't assume they want space unless they ask for it!
  • Don't worry virtually proverb the wrong thing and so much that yous say nil at all. At that place are no perfect words to say to someone whose mother died or whose father died, so don't stress nigh finding them. And recall that if something comes out incorrect, you tin can just apologize and let them know that you're struggling with what to say. People generally empathise that this isn't easy!
  • Don't rush them and don't call up they are going to get back to "normal". Grief is forever, though it changes and evolves with time. Most people feel forever changed by their losses.
  • Still worried about saying the wrong thing to someone whose parent died? Read this crowdsourced list of the 64 worst things to say to someone grieving
We invite you to share your experiences, questions, and resource suggestions with the WYG community in the discussion section below.

We invite y'all to share your experiences, questions, and resources suggestions with the WYG community in the discussion department below.

Let's be grief friends.

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